Social Dancing

How to get men to ask you dance

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As promised, here are some tips to make sure you’re dancing all night long and not left standing on the sidelines:

1) Get off to a good start

This one needs explaining. I’ve already covered in a previous post that yes it really is ok to ask men to dance. I also promised that if you really don’t like doing that I would you give you advice on how to get men to ask you to dance. I lied just a little bit… think of it more as…a compromise. If you’ve arrived, you’re itching to dance and no-one’s asked you yet, try just asking someone once. If you’re in a new setting and you don’t really know anyone, men in certain clubs might stick to their comfort zone of asking women they’ve already danced with in the past, because they know what to expect. (Yawn). If you go ahead and ask a guy to start off with, your chances of being asked to dance after this are much higher…. a) because you have demonstrated that you can actually follow a lead and b) men are much more likely to grab someone coming off the dancefloor than head over to people hanging out on the side, especially if they don’t know you. Which leads me to my next point…

2) Don’t stand on the side looking miserable 

It’s easy after two, three (four?) songs have gone by to start feeling full of self- doubt or downright rejected. But if you were a guy, would you pick the girl that’s smiling or the one that looks miserable?

3) Standing in a group of girls or having intense conversation makes you less approachable

If you came with a group of girlfriends, believe it or not, some men just do not know which one to pick, so instead, he’ll grab a girl who just finished dancing. Either that, or he’s shy, and so approaching a group of females is intimidating. Equally, if you are having an interesting and absorbing conversation, don’t be surprised that guys will probably leave you to it. Not to say you shouldn’t be talking and getting to know people, but once a song’s finished and you’re ready to dance, make that evident in your body language.

4) As weird as it may sound, some men go by how you’re dressed as a guess for whether you dance or not

Again, this mainly applies to going out to dance in a new club or city. If you’re wearing inappropriate shoes (spindle high stilettos or trainers), then some men read this as a sign that you stumbled into the club somehow, but that you don’t actually dance. This is a minor point, and when it comes down to it you can wear what you want, but if you really don’t want to ask men to dance,  it’s something to keep in mind!

That’s all for today lovely salsa people! It’s Saturday…will you be out dancing?

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6 thoughts on “How to get men to ask you dance

  1. A guy’s input:

    #1 We’d almost never reject an invitation from a woman to dance. It’s just wrong. So yes! Ask and we’ll gladly comply… (at least until we figure out you’re too good for us or a weirdo… then avoidance is in order :P)

    #2 A smile beats anything.. it helps if you’re enjoying the music swaying and grooving too. That’s a sign of “ask me, please!”

    #3 Agreed. It can be intimidating for newer or less experienced men to approach a whole group of ladies chatting away (what on earth? here to chat??) and possibly be rejected. OMG no.

    #4 Not too sure about checking out shoes.. as most of the time, the place is meant for dancing and if you’re there… let’s dance!

    Thanks for the post!

    Cheers 🙂

  2. Nice article. As a (perhaps obvious) corollary I’d add that its better to stand around by the dance floor than sit down or stand away from the dance floor. If a guy has to walk past 5 girls to get to you then the invitation may not reach you.

    BTW I confess to being a shoe checker 🙂

  3. I confess, I’ve never looked at their shoes while asking women to dance.
    If a girl is moving/grooving to the music, I’ll ask her to dance.So if you are new this should be your number one trick(according to me).

    Usually in Richmond follows are greater in number. So I am considered one of those serial dancers(I’ll dance continuously with a new follow for about 4-6 songs, till I am stinky and sweaty! Please don’t mind if I don’t make conversations immediately after the dance.

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